Frequently Asked Questions by Parents

How much should I tell?

The information itself needs to be stretchable, simple to begin, a little and basic in the preschool years, but stretchable as they grow, or when they ask questions. You cannot tell a child too much; they only take in what they need to know for that moment. Keep the door open, be prepared to talk anytime, and allow, even encourage, the child to come back to a topic over and over.

How can I start the conversation?

I rarely meet parents who don’t WANT to talk, but I often meet parents who don’t know HOW to talk about sexual health. Our Resources page offers parents recommended books and apps to get started at an early age and continue talking and learning as the kids grow up.

How can I make it less awkward?

From the day your baby is born, use scientific words to name each genital part, like any other body part. Then, by the time the child is old enough to ask ”Why do boys have a penis and girls have a vulva?” you’ll feel comfortable. Encourage yourself to use a light tone whenever possible, use humor and every listening skill you possess to get your family talking about sex. This is lifesaving information!

Shouldn’t I wait for my kid to ask about it?

Some children will never ask because it does not occur to them to be curious in that direction. Silence on the part of the parents becomes a profound message to the child that this is a taboo subject. Another possibility is that someone else has told them a story - true or untrue - and the child has simply accepted it. If you want to be the first one to tell them about the facts of life, you need not wait for questions - wake them up, tell them!

What is the best time to bring this up?

Bedtime is a great time to talk to young ones because they’ll do anything to stop you from leaving and turning out the light. This is a good time to get a book and read it together or to answer questions they may have asked earlier that day on a crowded bus or at a holiday dinner!

I’m still not sure I’m ready to bring this up...

We, adults, need to force ourselves, force our communities, to grow up! We must become sexually mature to help our children, they are depending on us.